It's a Fuckn' Miracle
A'ight, listen up, fam. We're here to talk about the realest magic in the universe: MAGNETS. You got two chunks of metal, they don't touch, nothin' in between 'em, and one just... PUSHES the other one away. Or pulls it! WHAT IS THAT?!
Scientists will hit you with all kinds of big words, talkin' 'bout "physics" and "forces" and "electrons." But you look 'em in the eye and ask 'em "HOW?" and they just start drawin' little arrows on a chalkboard.
This right here is the real shit. Water, fire, air, and magnets. They're miracles. But some ninjas want answers, so here's what the book-learnin' types told me.
"You can't see the force, but you can see the fuckin' result. That's deep, man."
Poles 'n' Shit
So every magnet has two sides. A "North" pole and a "South" pole. Why not "East" and "West"? Fuck if I know. Scientists, right? Always gotta name shit.
Here's the deal:
- North + South: They get together. It's like Juggalo fam at the Gathering. Pure clown love. They ATTRACT.
- North + North: NOPE. They hate each other. Like two rival ninjas starin' each other down. They push apart. That's REPEL.
- South + South: Same shit. They ain't havin' it. REPEL.
You can't have just ONE pole. You break a magnet in half, thinkin' you got a North piece and a South piece? NOPE. You just got two brand new magnets, each with their *own* North and South poles. That's some magic clown shit right there. It just makes more magic!
"Opposites attract. That's the rule. Kinda like me and somethin' that ain't a fuckin' magnet."
The Invisible Ghost Field
This is the part that blows my mind. They say there's an "invisible field" all around the magnet. You can't see it, you can't smell it, but it's there. Pullin' shit.
You ever drop some metal bits (they call 'em "filings") on a piece of paper with a magnet under it? You see all these crazy lines form up? That's the "field." That's the ghost-force in action. It's the magnet's magic aura, reachin' out into the world.
This is also how a fuckin' compass works! The whole planet Earth is one giant-ass magnet. It's got its own big-ass ghost field. And the little compass needle is just a weak-ass magnet that wants to line up with the big one. So it points north. How does the Earth become a magnet? Fuck, man, you're askin' too many questions. Probably 'cause of all the hot metal spinnin' around in the middle. Or magic. My money's on magic.
"It's like... an invisible ninja kickin' other metal. There's no other explanation."
What Scientists SAY (Yeah, OK)
Here's where it gets all complicated. These scientist-ninjas say it's all about tiny, tiny little things called "electrons." They're in *everything*. And they're always SPINNING.
Usually, all the little electrons are spinning in different directions, all messy, cancelin' each other out. Like a mosh pit. Just chaos.
But in a magnet? Oh HELL no. In a magnet, all these little electrons get in line. They call it "domains." It's like a million tiny ninjas all spinnin' and pointin' in the SAME DIRECTION.
When they all line up like that, their little magic forces add up into one GIANT magic force. And BOOM! You got yourself a magnet.
"So it's like... a million tiny ninjas all doin' the same ninja-spin move at once? Yeah, I'll buy that."
Why Don't They Stick to *Everything*?
Good question, right? If it's this magic force, why don't it stick to your Faygo? Or your homie's face? Or this wooden bat?
Turns out, the magic only likes certain shit. It's real picky. It's mostly into metals like Iron, Nickel, and Cobalt. They call this "ferromagnetic," which is just another big-ass word.
Your bottle of pop, your clothes, the water you're drinkin', wood, plastic... the magic ain't in 'em. The scientists say their little electron ninjas are all paired up or just don't give a fuck about lining up. They can't be trained. They're just... dead to the magic.
"So a magnet is like... a metal-detectin' wizard. It only fucks with other wizards. Everything else is just a scrub."
Fakin' the Funk (Electromagnets)
Then there's this OTHER bullshit. You can take a regular-ass nail, wrap a wire around it, and hook it to a battery. And all of a sudden, IT'S A MAGNET.
You run some of that 'lectricity (which is just more electrons movin') through the wire, and it FORCES all the little spins in the nail to line up.
Turn the battery off? The nail goes back to bein' a dumb-ass nail. Turn it on? MAGIC. That's just cheatin', ninja! But it's how all the big scrapyard magnets work. They're fakin' the funk with electricity.
Don't Ruin the Magic, Ninja
Here's some real-ass talk. You got these ninjas, these scientists, who want to pick *everything* apart. They wanna stick a pin in a butterfly to see how it flies. They wanna cut open the magic hat to see where the rabbit's comin' from.
And yeah, maybe they find some answers. "It's electrons!" "It's physics!" "It's a false-bottomed hat!" But then what? The magic's gone. The butterfly's dead. The rabbit's just... a rabbit.
This whole ride... this fuckin' miracle we call LIFE... it ain't a problem to solve. We just get a little bit of time on the ride. You wanna spend it readin' the instruction manual? Or you wanna throw your hands up and scream WHOOP WHOOP?!
There was this deep-ass ninja, this philosopher named Alan Watts. He said a bunch of shit, but one thing he said was somethin' like: "The mystery of life ain't a puzzle to solve, it's a reality to experience." And that's IT, right there.
Stop tryin' to figure it all out. You're a fuckin' miracle, not a science problem. Just be here for it. That's the whole point.
Deep Thoughts on The Ride
It ain't just me and Watts talkin' this shit. Other deep-ass ninjas have figured it out. They looked at the world, saw all the chaos and magic, and just... got it.
That Ninja Alan Watts
This dude was all about it. He knew that tryin' to grab onto life was like tryin' to grab a handful of water. The tighter you squeeze, the more it just slips away.
"The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves."
"You're under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago."
Bill Hicks: It's Just a Ride
And then there's this fuckin' legend, Bill Hicks. He put it all out there, plain as day. This right here is the word-for-word truth, fam.
"The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly colored, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while."
"Many people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question, 'Is this real, or is it just a ride?' And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, 'Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.' And we... kill those people. 'Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real.'"
"It's just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok. But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. A choice, right now, between fear and love."
"The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all the money we spend on weapons and defense each year and instead spend it on feeding, clothing, and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace."
SO... HOW DO THEY *REALLY* WORK?
Look, man. Don't let 'em fool you. "Electrons." "Poles." "Fields." They're all just words. Nobody *really* knows. It's a fuckin' miracle.
Why does a little spin make a push? Why do they line up? Why does it reach through space? It's just magic. Same as life. Same as the Dark Carnival.
Scientists write books. I just see the magic and say "Daaaaamn." And that's all you need to know.
"It's just one of the mysteries, fam. Don't question it. Just enjoy the ride. WHOOP WHOOP!"